his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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