just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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