I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
