there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my sisters under your porch take her home
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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