My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
