I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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