I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
did i just pee glitter
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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