I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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