i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
