uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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