I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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