I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
