Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
