I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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