What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
