ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
