i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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