Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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