So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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