Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
