My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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