Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
