worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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