is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
