my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
