Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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