The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
where does the pee come out of this thing
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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