tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
