i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
