I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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