Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
