who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
