At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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