My hand turned me down
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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