Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
