i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
