It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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