I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
