He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize