Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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