Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize