Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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