its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
