i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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