Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
