but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
