I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
