HIV tests are more positive than that guy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
