Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
