New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
