8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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