Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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