Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
