what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This toilet bowl is my home.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
