turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
