i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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