im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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