i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize