drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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