he told me I talked like a deaf person
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
