I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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