god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
