O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
