Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
