i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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